So I looked at the calendar and realized that time had completely flown by while I blinked and I hadn't even realized it! It had been 2 weeks since my last workout. I did Couch to 5k on Friday and then did a 5k (my first ever!) on Saturday. By the time Saturday night came around I could hardly walk because I had so much pain in my right heel. I have had this happen once before. So I was taking it easy and before I knew it 2 weeks had flown by (well maybe technically you could count the day I helped my brother move and the day I had to clean up from water damage in my basement as workouts - but not intentional ones, so I am not counting).
I had lots of excuses - work was CRAZY busy, my foot hurt, I didn't want to injure it worse, I ran out of time (but oddly managed to find time for facebook and Pinterest.....hmmmm) - seriously I could go on for days. But Sat for some unknown reason (I'm going with divine intervention) I was in the mood to exercise again. So I got on the treadmill while Ali was napping and I did Couch to 5k again. It felt sooooo good to overcome the desire to not work out. I still hated every minute of it, lol, but I was proud of myself. And that is a great feeling. I would much rather be proud of myself instead of being ashamed and disappointed.
And not only was I proud of myself for actually doing it, but I was proud because I pushed myself to run all 9 times during the workout (I only did 4 last time). I was coming up with all kinds of excuses in my head the entire time....I am just getting started so it's ok to ease into it. If I did better than last time it's still better. Even if I slow down now, it's still better than doing nothing.....again, I could go on for days. But I didn't let myself quit. For me, it was important to know that I had 9 runs to go and every one I completed was one less that I still had to do. I counted them down. I wanted to stop. But I wanted to succeed more. And I did. And I loved the feeling of pride I had for myself for not giving up. For pushing myself to finish. :-)
So that was when I realized that in order to get consistent with the exercise, I may have to break out the mental games. What do I love?? Yup, food. Especially dessert. But it's getting harder for me to justify dessert (even if it is a better choice....a Weight Watcher ice cream bar and only 3 points) if I haven't done anything to earn it. So I decided to use my want as a way to motivate myself. I have decided that will only allow myself a dessert if I have done at least a 30 minute workout. I think it will be a way for me to realize the consequences of my choices and hopefully to begin to build a habit. Should I use food as a reward? Prob not. But I figure at this point a 3 pt WW chocolate bar is the lesser of 2 evils. Let's get he habit built on something I was already doing and then maybe I can work on building a better habit to replace that one with.
So how was tonight, you ask??? Sadly, no dessert. My laundry list of excuses include: we had family over for Easter dinner, after they left, Ali fell asleep on my lap, after I got her to bed I was tired. So I still have work to do to stop the excuses and do it anyway. But I am making the first steps - to realize that I am making excuses and to hold myself accountable. So no dessert tonight. But you can bet your sweet ass I will be getting one tomorrow!!! :-)