Again I am trying to keep it real with you peeps….life in my “journey world” is not all sunshine and rainbows at the moment. And I am reading from lots of my fellow “journey” bloggers that they are too, so something must be going around. A contagious fall funk perhaps? Shall I blame the time change and excessive premature evening darkness?
I am having an off couple of weeks. The scale has not been kind to me. I am not excited about my workouts (or getting up at 5am to do them). I am not excited about my food, more tempted to make poor choices, and finding myself wanting to eat out of boredom more often again. I still have some of my discipline (at least when I overeat, its still decent choices…not candy, cookies or fast food) and thankfully don’t have much food around me that are bad choices (I don’t buy it so I am not tempted….I cannot be trusted).
I am not sure what is causing mine…Perhaps the uncertainty and change at work? Or feeling “out of balance” between work, myself, and family? The constant stress of being a working mom/wife and there not being enough hours in the day? I think the biggest factor is the feeling that this journey is taking me FOREVER! I have been at it over a year now. And while I realize that 65 pounds lost is an AMAZING accomplishment, some days it is beginning to feel as though I will never see the finish line. I have said before and will remind you again, I am not a patient person. I would love to find the magic combination of foods, calories, exercise, sleep, etc that will keep me consistently losing weight instead of the stupid see-saw it feels like I am on....I am soooo over the same up and down!
I am a person that is very motivated by my progress. Seeing the number on the scale drop, clothes get looser, or inches lost make me want to work harder! I am also the kind of person that likes the comfort of a routine. I find comfort in knowing what I am doing is netting me results. So during the week I have a pretty consistent routine. The weekends seem to be what is throwing me off. I hear that your body doesn't like routine when it comes to eating and working out through so you would think that would be a good thing, but when the scale is particularly unkind on Monday I get mad at myself for breaking my M-F schedule. Would my results have been different if I had stuck my old regular routine? I sure wish my body had a database that I could go back and look at how what I did impacted the result for the good or bad to know what I was doing right and wrong (yup, I am an I/T geek....I LOVE data!).
After meeting Austin & Ken Andrews from The Biggest Loser Season 11, I started finally watching that season. While I like BL, I wasn't a faithful follower before. Call me crazy, but I felt terribly guilty watching from the comfort of my sofa with cheeseburger, fries, pop and usually ice cream in hand (and face). But I have found it very motivating to watch while I am working out on my treadmill. And I just love getting a dose of "what I need to hear when I need to hear it". This week was no exception. So much of this journey is mental...believing that you can do things you have never done before, staying focused and determined, saying I CAN instead of I can't. While I have been having amazing success with the C25k program and running like I haven't done in
years decades, the negative voice in my head still comes out and tells me I can't and that this isn't working. I think the thought of "failing" scares the crap outa me. But truth be told, I am not failing. Even a bad choice or day or week doesn't define my success or failure. My attitude, my perseverance and my desire to keep trying and most importantly DOING does! I WILL win this battle and achieve my goal!
I will NOT quit!
One thing I have realized that I need to keep the positive thoughts and motivation front and center in front of me right now to get past the middle of this journey and on to the home stretch. So be warned, you may start seeing more "quote" and pep-talk posts from me for a while.
posted by BL-s11's Hannah today...I needed this one!
I need to keep reminding myself how far I have come, how much I have changed, and how I am inspiring others so that the finish line doesn't seem to e still so far away. So you may start seeing more before and after pics too! This blog is my therapy session!
I have to give big props to my oldest daughter. As a parent, I think often times we struggle for validation that what we say and the lessons we try to teach are sinking in. She is a freshman in high school (yeah, I still can't wrap my head around that one!) and is taking photojurnalism this semester...she gets her love of the camera from me! They were asked to do a portrait assignment and write about the person they selected. Yup, she picked me! I was very honored but especially proud to read the words she wrote about me. http://mhsphotoj.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/jennifer-owens-2/ These are powerful words from a teenager! This is proof that I am a role model to my family. They do see my hard work and success. I am making a difference in their lives and I need to use things like this to keep me moving forward!
I have also realized that I have been getting away from the basics:
- Drinking as much water (much easier to do in the summer when its warm)
- Wearing my body media fit armband
- Logging food with MFP
- Measuring food portions
- Pre-planning meals & snacks
- Not "grazing" a bite of food here and there
- Eating more fruits/veggies and less processed foods
So those are the things I am going to be working on to get past this "fall funk". I will keep you posted on my progress.
And let's make this a group therapy session! I would love to hear from the readers and followers....what fall funk are you battling right now? What are you doing to fight it? Let's be there to support each other. There is power in numbers!
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