I had a good day at work, pretty much the normal for me. But started getting super sluggish in the afternoon. I was hoping to get a workout in before the crazy "mom schedule" got in full force that evening. Actually, I had been hoping to get at least part of a workout in before work, but as usual lately my 3 year old helper decided to make a too-early appearance at about the time I was going to hit the eliptical...doh! So on to plan B...an after work workout....or so I thought. By the time I got home I was so exhausted, I dozed on the couch for a bit before having to go play taxi to pick up my older girls. I woke up in time to put my shoes on and head out the door....after inhaling some ice cream cake that was leftover in the freezer from a bday party this weekend. I didn't even do thee sensible thing and cut a small piece to tide the craving. I just got a spoon from the drawer and dove in. And kept eating, bite after bite. I am really not sure how much I ate. Too much, that's what I do know. That is why I can't keep that crap in the house....I can't be trusted!!
After the ice cream it was down hill from there. When i got home I still hadn't eaten a proper dinner and still had the "munchies". So I swigged a few sips of wine (no more taxi for me and hubby was home by then), had some pretzels and hummus, munched on food I was packing for my lunch the next day...and prob a few other things in there I have mentally blocked out. Oh, I almost forgot the best part....I had ANOTHER piece of ice cream cake (I cut it and put it in a bowl this time).
I was sooooo mad at myself. I felt guilty. I felt ashamed. How could I have such a total lack of control? While it was a far "better" binge than I have had in the past (talk about your oxymoron) but it was still just that....a total loss of willpower and control.
But I decided that setbacks are totally normal. I can't be perfect all the time. I have to fall down every once in a while to get back up. The important part is that I DO get back up. So I did just that. I dusted myself off and today was a new day. I met my calorie goal. I got a workout in. I blogged. I cooked for my family. It was a good day.
Each day I am thankful for being just a little but stronger than the last. I WILL keep going. I will NOT give up this fight. I AM going to beat this addiction. And so can you!!!!! Keep the passion and fire in your belly. Know that there will be bad days and off days but know that you can choose to keep going. It how you handle the challenge that determines your character. Show your strength in character.....I KNOW it is within you!!
I personally challenge you to KICK ASS the next day to pick yourself back up and start over, stronger and more determined than before. Throw weakness, fear, insecurity and any other baggage you may be toting around with you to the curb! You got this!!!
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